Shelbie Stories

I could prob write a book on the stories about her. Never in my life did I think that at 2 I could tell that a child would live up to the stereotype of being a blonde. This may sound mean but I don't mean it to be, I love her to death but on a daily basis resort to sighing "Ohhhh Shelbie"! From a very early age it wouldn't matter how many times she got in trouble for something or got hurt doing something, she would still go back and do it again. Most would say "that is just kids" well yes and no. See most kids learn after awhile, this one....not so much! As her mother, and the mother of a child 3 yrs older than her I had some comparison, not that u should compare children no 2 are exactly alike, but at least have an idea at what point these lessons are sinking in or at least starting to.... One day when she was 2, I was getting ready for work and she was sooo quiet, which she was a lot so I didn't think a whole lot about it, I came downstairs to find her covered head to toe in nail polish!!! I was already running late so in frustration cleaned her up as fast as I could. So when I thought I was done I started to get her dressed, I noticed that there was a line of polish going up under her undies....so i pulled them to the side only to find that she had painted her willa inside and out!!! And by inside I mean as far up as the wand would reach, I was horrified!!! What would possess a 2 yr old to do this!? So I sat there for a minute...stunned, and then tried to think of how to resolve this. I thought about taking her to the ER.....and tell them what?! So I decided the quickest and most logical thing to do was use the nail polish remover beside me. It was as traumatic for me as it was for her, I was crying just as hard as her and felt terrible about what I had to do. Some days I'm at my wits end and others she amuses me. I grew up with 3 brothers so the drama and girly activities she wants to embark in are as foreign to me as embarrassment! I really had no idea how to play with a girl, I played outside with my brothers with cars, Tonka trucks, bikes and climbed trees on top of living on a farm and helping out there. So when Shelb would stand and scream and bawl like she was being beat to death because there was a bug on the window all I could do is stare at her with my mouth agape wondering what the heck to I do with this!? Or when she would scale u like a cat does a tree when something loud would come near her or just drive by! Sometimes she's just plain silly an has no idea that she is (kids, yes I know but it's always 100 times the things most kids would do or say at her age) Funny story, Shelb was 4 at the time:
Me: "What do you want for breakfast?"
Shelb: "I want a muffin." (while throwing garbage away)
M: "we don't have muffins"
S: "yes we do, I want a muffin for breakfast!"
M: "honey, I didn't buy any, do u see muffins...." (thoroughly confused at this point)
S: "no"
M: "do u smell muffins?"
S: "no"
M: "then why do u think w have them?"
S: "cuz there is a muffin thing in the garbage....."
M: (all at once the realization hit me and I was in hysterical laughter) "honey, its a coffee filter!!!!"
S: "Oh...."
Hahaha she really makes me laugh sometimes mostly because she so very serious that she knows what shes talking about and is totally off or just completely outrageous like this one night,
she was between 3 and 4 and I had just got down reading a bedtime story to them:
M: "Ohhhhh this bed is soo comfy, I'm gonna just sleep here (her bed)
S: "NO!! That's where my feet have to go!"
M: "Fine, I sleep on this side!"
S: "NO!!! You can't sleep here, I want my dreams to come true!!!
I laid there unable to move from the laughter that ensued!!! And she sat there stewing that I thought it was so funny that her dreams wouldn't come true! Oooooh Shelbie! Sometimes she gives crazy reasoning for why she can or can't do something like when she was 5 and I wad trying to show her how to draw a heart:
M: " draw a heart...like this..."
pause for her attempt
S: "Ahhhh, I can't do it!!! I'm not a heart shaping person!"
Ohhhh Shelbie!! What can u do but laugh even in her serious frustration!
Now that shes a little older its the drama that I makes me just floors me. I don't know what to do to fix it or help her and I'm terrified for teenage years! at 3 she had about 6 boyfriends most of which were her uncles or cousins. But she did have one that was a millionaire that lived in California and he gave Austin $100 just because he liked him so much! My child made that story up...herself....at 3!!! Now at 6 she has 3 loves in her (imaginary) life and they are ages 17-22...and she writes them love notes and makes cards for them...WTH!!! She is so boy crazy now that I think I'll just home school her for high school! And now that her sister has come along, and pushed her to middle child status, she has upped her game! The drama is worse than ever and now " we just don't like her" that is why she isn't allowed to walk like an elephant when her sister is sleeping or eat cookies at 10 o'clock at night!!! Sure THAT'S the reason why!!! Poor Shelbie no one likes her anymore (just ask her) and when shes at a playground she will come pouting over to me saying no one likes her cuz the won't play with her. The problem is they just won't play what SHE wants them to!!!! My favorite is when I tell her she can't do something and this is what she pouts back at me: (in a high pitched voice, that I'm certain that if I wasn't her mother only a dog would hear) "I wanted to have that cookie, but you won't let me, so now I won't" I can't help but laugh and say "yep, u got it" Then she will start to cry and when asked why it's cuz I made her mad!!! Now all of this isn't to say that she isn't smart, she is very smart in fact I have a feeling that quantum physics will be a snap for her, someday. She gets out-standings in nearly every subject in school and is advanced in most subjects, according to her teacher, but its the simple everyday things that seem to elude her. I'm not sure how to help her in this area I do try to make her figure things out on her own when she asks a very obvious question but it can be very frustrating when it seem so simple to me. I can relate though in school I could not grasp addition and subtraction but multiplication and division were a snap for me I just got it. The same with algebra it was so easy for me but the simple stuff was so hard. So I guess that is my theory with helping her maybe it will come easier with practice.... She is also the most generous 6 yr old I've seen, willing to share anything she has, and will give her toys to people as gifts just because she likes to. So to sum it up, I love her very much and wouldn't trade her for the world but sometimes I just don't know what to do! I hope u enjoyed a few of her amusing stories! I'm sure these aren't the last and that I'm sure I forgot a few!